"For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy."
Hebrews 10:14
Last night, I listened to a man talk about God's forgiveness and what that really means. He quoted this verse and many others, all referencing to the fact that when God forgives, He genuinely forgets. He shared a personal anecdote about the church he grew up in and how the members would always get on him for being mischievous and telling him that God would "get him back for that". He went on to say that they would always tell him to keep a "short list" of wrongdoings for God and to continually apologize for that. He said something that hit me: "What about no list?" Well, what about it? Because according to Scripture God doesn't keep a list. He throws our sins as far as the "east is from the west" (Psalm 103:12).
On January 9th, I was struggling. As usual, the devil knew where to jab just so it hurt enough to cripple me. That's self doubt. I, like many other Christians, have a hard time accepting the fact that all the wrong I've done in the past is truly and genuinely forgotten; that is doesn't mean anything to God. The reason I remember that it was January 9th is because that day's My Utmost for His Highest just so happened to be written directly at me for that reason. Chambers wrote: "Cleansing from sin is to the very heights and depths of our spirit [...] soul and body are preserved in unspotted integrity, undeserving of censure in God's sight, until Jesus comes."
This is a lesson I've heard my whole life. When we're forgiven by God it's a whole forgiveness that wipes us clean. But there's one adjustment I want to make to that lesson: It doesn't present tense wipe us clean. It past tense wiped us clean. When did Christ die on the cross? Nearly two thousand years ago. When were our sins atoned for? Nearly two thousand years ago. That means the sin you committed yesterday, the one you may have just done, and the one you'll do in ten minutes were all already forgiven. God's forgiveness is already given. Once we understand that, we can more fully understand what Chambers said.
"Cleansing [...] is to the very heights and depths of our souls." What is at the heights of our souls? I think it's when we're most excited for Jesus. For me, that's in the middle of a worship song. Music takes me over and I feel the Spirit strongest in that moment. A friend of mine here at college says it's at night when he's just about to fall asleep. At that moment, we were cleansed. What's at the depths? This is an easier question to answer. It's our regrets. It's that mistake that we can't forget for some reason; I have about a hundred of them. And guess what: cleansed. We are "preserved in unspotted integrity."
In October of 2014, I was having an argument with a friend about the meaning of one part of the Bible. It's not an issue that has to do with salvation. By that I mean you could be on either side (or neither) and still be secure in your salvation, I believe. But it is something that both of us thought we were right about and had Biblical backing to prove our points (though one of us had more, *cough* me). I texted my dad about the issue, who by the way disagrees with me. I told him how angry I was and how it actually started to come between my dear friend and I. I got this text back: "Don't die on hills that are small enough to step over." I learned quickly after moving out of the house that my dad is killer at giving the perfect advice. It's never confusing and always 100% accurate. This particular bit of advice has carried over into almost every aspect of my life. Whenever I'm arguing, the thought always pops in my head, "Can I step over this?"
Our mistakes can be stepped over. Past, present, future. All of our mistakes can be stepped over because Jesus Christ bled on a sinner's cross. In that moment, he made every sin for the rest of time until he returns small enough to step over.
It's easy to dwell on our mistakes, our flaws, our inadequacies. In fact, the world would have us do it. Even more than the world, the enemy would have us do it. The Screwtape Letters written by C.S. Lewis is a satirical piece about Christianity written in the style of one senior demon, Screwtape, writing to a novice demon, Wormwood, giving him advice on how to tempt a human to stay away from the truth. It was given to me by my girlfriend's dad and I couldn't be more thankful. In the third letter, Screwtape writes to Wormwood, "It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds: in reality our best work is done by keeping things out." Don't let the demons keep the truth out of our minds!
The truth is that all of our sins (yes, the ones you haven't committed yet) are forgotten! God doesn't dwell on them, why should we? Dwelling on our mistakes makes life void of joy. That's not the life God wants us to live and please take it from me, it's not the life you want to live. If we spend our time dwelling on how unworthy we are of God, we'll miss the fact that God doesn't care. We certainly aren't worthy and God absolutely does. not. care.
I'll leave on advice from my mom. My mom was the one who bought My Utmost for His Highest for me. She got it for me to use in college because she was very aware that I was not too excited about coming to college. She wrote a very touching note in the front of the book that I rediscovered today. The last advice she wrote in her letter before signing off was this: "Stay." That was it. Two paragraphs of sweet mother-to-son letter, and she leaves on, "Stay." At the time, I didn't get it. I do now.
Stay! Stay in Christ, stay yourself, stay confident, stay brave, stay forgiven.
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